10 / 16

nu e vorba de ceva gen 9/11. e ceva mult mai simplu , mai real si tangibil , cel putin in sectorul meu de varsta.

Sa zicem ca se apropie 9/ 23.  11/17 e mult mai precis. Ce inseamna toate astea?

Inseamna ca eu , trec de perioada aia 10/ 16 , cand totul e permis , totul e liber , totul e frumos , lipsit de griji , fantastic , euforic si ajung la 11/17 care pare inca de la inceput gri , sufocant si plin de neajunsuri.

E greu de explicat de ce mi se pare o diferenta uriasa de la clasa a 10 a si 16 ani , la clasa a 11 a si 17 ani. Poate pentru ca am complexe de batranete. E posibil. Poate pentru ca intotdeauna cei care erau a 11 a sau mai sus , erau oamenii to look up to .

Ieri am zis ceva care m-a socat pe masura ce rosteam cuvintele respective , tocmai prin veridicitatea afirmatiei : ” La anul pe vremea asta , o sa fac scoala de soferi “.  Completez spunand ca la anul pe vremea asta o sa am aproape 18 ani. Aproape majora. Atunci cat de tare ma voi speria? Cat de tare voi resimti panica existentei mele limitate si a anilor care refuza sa-mi ofere mai mult?

Toti oamenii pe care ii cunosc aveau dreptul efectiv de a implini 18 ani , a deveni majori , a da bacul si a zbura spre alte lumi si a uita de mine. Eu nu. Eu nu.

Ma sperii de mine , de realizarile mele de pana acum , de nimicul in care ma complac zilnic.

Si-mi privesc viitorul si ma ingrozesc caci nu vad nimic. E posibil sa vad un Big Ben , poate Brooklyn Bridge , poate doar Casa Poporului in timp ce studiez teoria infailibilului nimic.

Pe 23 septembrie imbatranesc. Se duc clipele mele de glorie , sau poate doar incep altele.

a fost o vara calda plina de nebunii temporare , iubiri mai mult sau mai putin pasionale , excursii foarte sau foarte foarte reusite , discutii reusite , intalniri cu oameni de care mi-era dor , dar toate se termina acum.

Pentru mine , anul asta va fi chiar mai greu decat clasa a 12 a. Sunt perfect constienta de asta si incerc sa realizez ca totul depinde numai si numai de mine.  Vreau si voi putea sa reusesc. Viata mea depinde de asta. Voi imbatrani cu satisfactia ca am reusit ceva pana acum , ceva mic , dar e primul meu pas catre eliberarea de normal , de cunoscut , primul pas catre implinirea mea ca om.

Pentru cei ce nu au vazut urmatorul clip , va sugerez sa-i dati un play. E unul dintre cele mai tari speech-uri pe care le-am vazut vreodata si pe care mi l -a aratat prima oara Paul.

I don’t know what to say really.
Three minutes
to the biggest battle of our professional lives
all comes down to today.
Either
we heal
as a team
or we are going to crumble.
Inch by inch
play by play
till we’re finished.
We are in hell right now, gentlemen
believe me
and
we can stay here
and get the shit kicked out of us
or
we can fight our way
back into the light.
We can climb out of hell.
One inch, at a time.

Now I can’t do it for you.
I’m too old.
I look around and I see these young faces
and I think
I mean
I made every wrong choice a middle age man could make.
I uh….
I pissed away all my money
believe it or not.
I chased off
anyone who has ever loved me.
And lately,
I can’t even stand the face I see in the mirror.

You know when you get old in life
things get taken from you.
That’s, that’s part of life.
But,
you only learn that when you start losing stuff.
You find out that life is just a game of inches.
So is football.
Because in either game
life or football
the margin for error is so small.
I mean
one half step too late or to early
you don’t quite make it.
One half second too slow or too fast
and you don’t quite catch it.
The inches we need are everywhere around us.
They are in ever break of the game
every minute, every second.

On this team, we fight for that inch
On this team, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us
to pieces for that inch.
We CLAW with our finger nails for that inch.
Cause we know
when we add up all those inches
that’s going to make the fucking difference
between WINNING and LOSING
between LIVING and DYING.

I’ll tell you this
in any fight
it is the guy who is willing to die
who is going to win that inch.
And I know
if I am going to have any life anymore
it is because, I am still willing to fight, and die for that inch
because that is what LIVING is.
The six inches in front of your face.

Now I can’t make you do it.
You gotta look at the guy next to you.
Look into his eyes.
Now I think you are going to see a guy who will go that inch with you.
You are going to see a guy
who will sacrifice himself for this team
because he knows when it comes down to it,
you are gonna do the same thing for him.

That’s a team, gentlemen
and either we heal now, as a team,
or we will die as individuals.
That’s football guys.
That’s all it is.
Now, whattaya gonna do?

Mentionez ca transcrierea am luat-o de aici.

O zi buna , multe sperante si mult curaj.

J.